The red thread

To begin with, “the red thread” is a myth that claims that you are attached to your lover through a red thread since you were born, and at one moment in life, this magical symbol will bring you together. Also, in Chinese culture, red represents happiness and is featured during Chinese weddings. Now that you have understood this article's background better, we will talk in psychological terms. 

Most of the time, people are confused about why they are attracted to another person. Everyone sees different attraction points; they are psychological, biological, and experience-based factors. The main factor is constituted of hormones. Attraction involves the brain pathways that control “reward” behavior, which partly explains why a relationship's first few weeks or months can be so exhilarating and even all-consuming. Attraction seems to lead to a reduction in serotonin, a hormone involved in appetite and mood. Interestingly, people who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder also have low levels of serotonin, leading scientists to speculate that this is what underlies the overpowering infatuation that characterizes the beginning stages of love. The seven stages of love are attraction, infatuation, love, reverence, worship, obsession, and death.

Have you ever sensed that you may seek in your partner particularities from your parents?

Familiarity is the factor that makes us more attracted to a person based on traits that our parents have. First, people’s partners seem to be more likely to resemble the parent of the corresponding gender: girlfriends match mothers, and boyfriends match fathers, irrespective of whether they’re in a heterosexual or homosexual relationship.

Second, emotional closeness to a parent increases the likelihood that your partner will resemble your parent. Also if the relationship between your parents was full of love and qualities, you will search for a similar healthy relationship, on the other hand, if their behavior is mostly negative, the relationship will possibly be toxic. On the contrary, some partners don't use these patterns ad litteram and will try to do the opposite of what they saw in their family. Our relationship can also be affected by friends and other external factors. Since the opinion of the closest persons matters to us we can be influenced wrongly. Each person has their own beliefs and perceives the problem from another perspective. 

This leads us to the Electra complex which dates from the Greek mythological character Electra. She is known for committing a matricide with Orestes, her brother, because Clytemnestra, their mother, plotted along Aegisthus the murder of Agamemnon, the father of the siblings. Sigmund Freud developed the female aspects of the sexual development theory; which states five stages of human development: oral, anal, phallic, latency, and genital. These psychosexual stages capture the main growth points of a person from infancy to adulthood and focus on different facets of wants, needs, and desires. He believed that there was a sexual competition between a girl and her mother for sexual possession of the father. Also Electra complex involves a girl, aged between 3 and 6, becoming sexually attached to her father and increasingly hostile toward her mother. 

In the end, effective communication is another important factor so that the relationship can work properly. Communication can often clarify a situation that may be misunderstood and overthink. It takes 2 people to have a relationship and each person has different communication needs and styles. Couples need to find a way of communicating that suits their relationship. Healthy communication styles require practice and hard work. Communication will never be perfect all the time.

Bibliography: https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-attraction-doctor/202303/why-romantic-feelings-change-over-time-for-better-or-worse

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesbusinesscouncil/2023/11/03/product-management-through-the-lens-of-the-seven-stages-of-love/?sh=29627520115d

https://www.insider.com/biological-reasons-youre-attracted-to-someone-2018-10#5-hormones-5

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electra_complex

https://www.harpersbazaar.in/culture/story/do-we-look-for-our-parents-in-the-partners-that-we-choose-565095-2023-02-28

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/relationships-and-communication

https://thewire.in/society/family-choice-of-partner

https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/how-does-external-stress-impact-relationship-dynamics